@just_ine - Okay lets stick with the general private analogy. The private has had life in the army explained to him. He has been trained that his interests are subordinate to those of the nation and it is the general who determines what is in the nations interests.The private signs the enlistment contact and has had extensive training about the duties of soldiers and officers.

Quote Originally Posted by just_ine View Post
So, a General leading his men into battle hearing new intel from a Private, cannot change his battle plans because this makes the Private the new leader?

IF the private objection was new intel then a good general should consider it BUT that is not the case here. The objection is not about limits or safety or sanity. The objection is because of the private (Sirs Goodgirl) personal preference. She doesn't want to go to dusty Iraq. she wants to go to sunny Hawaii. The private wants to expand her horizons, travel the world, meet people and do lots of exciting new things. She does not care about what the nation (relationship) want or what the general (dom) wants. She only cares about HER interest. She is in the army (Ds) for what the nation can give her not for what she can give the nation. She does not agree with the cause and is considering desertion or hopping into bed with another power. You are suggesting the general should change plans to suit her.

I agree it would be wise to hear the views of the soldiers and consider change of plans to keep the soldier content. BUT her objection is based on selfish reasons. She should not have joined up for that army. She does not want to subordinate her interests. Her complaint is her general is not experienced.. What can he do to change that. Magically become a veteran overnight. She should explain her views and request discharge. The general should discharge her. Personally I'd have her transferred from regiment to regiment so that all my fellow officers could enjoy the delights of punishing her.

But lets get back to reality. Its clear whats happened here. 2 bdsm newbies talk about bdsm and join forces so they can explore this brave new world. The nature of it means the dom has the lions share of coming up with what to do and doing it. The sub is getting bored because he keeps revisiting the same places and they have not got out their hometown let alone state or country. She wants a man who can take her to Tahiti.

She should tell him where she wants to go. (eg hey Iove to try anal, please fuck my ass). They should both reconsider if their travel plans are in same direction. Maybe he happy to stay in hometown and doesn't want to see the world. IF the aspirations are not same similar they should go their own ways. IF he doesn't oject they could invite a friend to join then or he could agree to her going on a separate trip every once in a while.

The true error here is that we have a young couple who have started dating and because their is no word for boyfriend girlfriend they call themselves husband and wife. The marriage will probably fail because they did not spend sufficient time together before gettng married. It was two people on there own hooking up in Vegas, BDSM should have the equivalent of a dating=engagement period without rushing to tie the knot or in this case tie the subbie.