So I know nothing (or little) about the Ds dynamic (you know nothing Jon Snow), so arguably shouldn't be commenting, however having said that the OP also says she is a new comer so maybe it will be helpful to her.

For what they are worth these are my thoughts.

-it's difficult to know exactly what the problem is in a short post, because what people are thinking and how they express those feelings /thoughts can be very different, having said that all we have to go on is the information above, but I think it's important to remember that as with all communication things are open to interpretation.

For instance this is posted in the Submissive seeking dominant part of the forum, but then reads like the O.P is asking for advise about her current D/s situation, which I think may be causing some confusion.


If this is a personal add, then I would humbly suggest that bringing a third person into a relationship that is already in trouble is a recipe for disaster. If there has been a discussion about this with her Dom and he is happy for her to be advertising for another then it maybe better to have stated that more clearly in the O.P.

-if Sirs Goodgirl is unhappy in the relationship and wants out (and there are some concerning words used such as 'well being is not being met', and 'lack of trust') It may be helpful for her to be able to contact some more experienced subs on the site initially (I don't know if there is a mentor system here, or if there are some or the more experienced subs here that would be happy to be contacted?)

-I am also a bit confused by the title 'what is a real Dom like?' the implication being that the O.P's Dom is not one. And again, I realise that words are easily misconstrued and I don't mean to sound unkind, but I know that I would be very upset if someone ever posted 'what is a real sub like?' If I was already their sub!! I would feel hurt, let down, humiliated.

If Sirs Goodgirl really feels as if her well being is being neglected by him, i personally would advise addressing the problems in that relationship first, which surely has to include telling him how she feels, it is possible that there is a major misunderstanding that could be easily and quickly addressed.

If as she says, he is inexperienced too then at the very least he now has that information from her that he can work with and possibly post for advise on here and ask the more experienced Doms for opinions/advise and then maybe they get to grow more experienced together?

Sirs_Goodgirl, I am more than happy to be pm'ed if you do need someone to talk to, but I am afraid I will not be able to give you any advise with regards D/s.


Hope you guys both find what you are looking for
Xx