I would suggest you look at it from a different angle. You say you want to "enter the BDSM lifestyle" but really your primary aim should be to satisfy your (and possibly partner) sexual and social needs and desires. This means ...

- identifyting what you already like and may like. This is both sexual activity and relationship.
- learning about new activities and deciding if they interest you.
- exploring those new activities
- deciding in your mind what you like-dislike

Now you know what you want so now its a case of doing it.

The lover may lead to the old potato of kinky woman vanilla man. My suggestion would be to watch porn and flag stuff with mild to medium level bdsm activities eg spanking, tying up. Then watch them with your partner and talk about it to guage his interest, ie does it turn him on AND a means to tell him it turns you on. You may then be in position to iniate a play sesssion. At worst you will have closer idea as to how he feels about itl.