When bad feelings come back

[lucy]

I've got a problem getting over things that are supposed to be resolved. For example, if i as a sub disappoint my Master and am punished and learned my lesson i'm supposed to go ahead and do better in the future. The case is supposed to be closed, and as far as my Master is concerned, it is. And i'm grateful for that.

From what i understand, that's the way it works in many D/s relationships and yes, it should work like that.

But it's not that easy, at least not for me. I find myself looking back (which in itself isn't a bad thing to do) and still feel remorse/regret/shame (which doesn't really help and shouldn't be necessary, because i already paid the price with the punishment)

Are there any other subs (or even Dominants) with the same problem, and if yes, how do you deal with it?

[Flaming_Redhead]

The only thing that works for me is a really good ass whipping with a good cry afterwards and lots of snuggling. Anything else just leaves me feeling like I got off too damn easy or haven't really been forgiven. The problem is that I don't always get what I need/want, and I still don't know how to absolve myself....so....I'm afraid I'm not much help.

[Twisted32]

The only thing that works for me is a really good ass whipping with a good cry afterwards and lots of snuggling. Anything else just leaves me feeling like I got off too damn easy or haven't really been forgiven.

I completely agree. Last night Master wanted me to do something and I tried and tried but just couldn't do it....he punished me severely and afterwards, when he was done with me, I felt SO disappointed in myself and felt like I let him down...he comforted me and told me at least I tried it and thats all he asks....but tonight, I got closer to what he wanted me to do, even though I had some adverse reactions, I still got close. He praised me saying that I did a VERY good job and that he was proud of me. I was proud of myself too....and hopefully I will be able to get closer to his goal of doing what he wants me too.

[SubmissiveDoll]

I tend to feel bad for a quite a while. If my Master and I get into an argument, or I've done something stupid, even after I'm punished for it I still feel bad. It will eventually wear off, but for it to run it's course faster I need my Masters help. Usually he will snuggle me, or have my lay with my head in his lap for a while. That helps a lot, especially if he pets my hair. I have difficulty touching him after a punishment. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed. He will usually pull me too him, and that helps me to get over that much faster.