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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    London
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    Cant ejaculate- how to solve?

    So here is one for the sexual health experts, that I hope might be able to offer some advice. For a long time I've been single and regularly (2-3 times a day) masturbated, often to BDSM porn (including stories in the story section).

    Recently I met a girl who enjoys only mild BDSM elements (no pain, no humiliation, few toys, restraint and power exchange OK) and I've discovered that I cannot ejaculate when having sex or recieving hand or oral pleasure from her.

    Now while that has some advantages (more sexual stamina) it is increasingly frustrating as she comes nearly at my slightest touch and I havent had one yet. That said, I seem to have 'dry' ejaculations where my penis pulsates as if it were cumming, but no ejaculate actually appears. And it doesnt quite feel as good or authentic as a proper ejaculate.

    From a brief search of the internet, the consensus seems to be that this might be due to stress, inability to relax with the partner, or due to maturbatory conditioning of the ejaculation reflex. I can totally relax with her, stress is low, so my question is how to break my bodies conditioning and learn how to ejaculate while having sex with her?

    Thx.

    V.

  2. #2
    ~*Angel Goddess Divine *~
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Southern Girl
    Posts
    839
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    I'm still looking, but this seems like a reasonable idea.

    Delayed Ejaculation
    We receive many emails about Delayed Ejaculation, and it's no wonder - It is estimated that 30% of males suffer from it.

    Typically, a male will ejaculate 3 - 5 minutes after intercourse begins. However, men with DE can go on literally for hours and not ejaculate. This is extremely frustrating for both partners. The male feels like a failure, and the female gets very sore and often feels that somehow she has failed. Always remember - this problem is HIS, not yours.

    Unlike Premature Ejaculation, there is no medication available to treat DE. Professional sex therapy can help, but here's the most common approach to the problem:

    Before intercourse begins, the male should masturbate almost to the point of ejaculation. This "primes the pump", as it were. Then, when the couple starts in with intercourse, he will be much closer to cumming. Intercourse will be shorter and far more satisfying for both partners.

    Also, if you have DE, it's a good idea to not masturbate for a few days before having a sexual encounter. This builds up the libido, and climax can be achieved much more quickly.

    -Source Talksexwithsue.com
    My hands are searching for you My arms are outstretched towards you
    I feel you on my fingertips My tongue dances behind my lips for you
    I can feel you all around me Thickening the air I'm breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling
    Savoring this heart that's healing
    My hands float up above me And you whisper you love me And I begin to fade Into our secret place


  3. #3
    ~*Angel Goddess Divine *~
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Southern Girl
    Posts
    839
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    http://www.steadyhealth.com/masterba...x_t120068.html

    The men on here all say not masterbating helped them to be able to cum. Maybe lay off the palm shining for a while ?


    I googled " masterbate too much can't ejaculate during sex " and founds tons of forums and topics.

    It seems the answer is to NOT think about ejaculating but rather the sensations while having sex. Masterbating less and changing your technique to a slower less pressure grip..

    Hope this helps!
    My hands are searching for you My arms are outstretched towards you
    I feel you on my fingertips My tongue dances behind my lips for you
    I can feel you all around me Thickening the air I'm breathing Holding on to what I'm feeling
    Savoring this heart that's healing
    My hands float up above me And you whisper you love me And I begin to fade Into our secret place


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