About Younger Women

[drake7]

Young women, say 18-24 for instance, are often the topic of stories on this site and more than a few non-printed fantasies. In real life, however, I don't know if the rose smells quite as good as in one's imagination.

A young friend has expressed an interest in a more than "friendly" relationship with me and I am a bit reluctant to consider it. She is 19 and I am 38. She is quite attractive and we share common interests, including BDSM, but our age difference is something I am not very comfortable with.

If anyone has been involved in a relationship similar to this could give me comments on their experiences, or if any women could comment on what might be going on in her thinking, I would appreciate it.

Drake.

[Morrighan]

Psychologically speaking, and I hope I don't offend you, she could be looking for a father figure, or masculine approval. What's her relationship with her father? If it is a good one, then it could be just one of the situations where age is not a factor--at least in her mind. But if her father is absent, estranged, or their relationship is otherwise bad, I would consider steering clear of a non-platonic relationship. When I was nineteen, I had a few friends (my age) that were going out with much older men--late thirties, early forties--and it was almost always because of a lack of a strong male role model. Girls need their father, and when they don't have him, they often resort to promiscuity and make bad choices in their significant others.

I'm not saying you'd be a bad choice, Drake7 (that you have thought to question this makes her lucky) but it could be a very messy situation for you. If all she wants is a sexual relationship and I were in your shoes, I'd check into her family and then consider it. However, anything more long term, you two may have very different goals. She may want kids--do you? Do you already have them? There's a lot to think about.

Speaking as someone who fits into that 18-24 age gap, those of us that seek out a relationship with this kind of age difference are few and far between, and most do it for the reasons I explained above. Most of us want family and kids, and an older man usually has already been through that, and doesn't want to do it again. You may want to just be there for her as a positive male role model--not necessarily a father figure, but someone who can protect, advise, and support her as a father would. Someone like that would have made a world of difference to the girls I knew a long time ago.

Morrighan

[drake7]

Morrighan said:

Psychologically speaking, and I hope I don't offend you, she could be looking for a father figure, or masculine approval. What's her relationship with her father?

Interestingly enough, it is her mother that is absent. She died about three years ago. Hopefully I am not a mother figure to her.

The relationship she has with her father seems to be a good one, a few "bumps" so to speak, but pretty much as to be expected for a nineteen year old.

Whether or not she may have been attracted to me based on my age is a good point however, I will ask her how old she thought I was when we first met last year. She's very well grounded though- I was surprised she was only 19 since she seems more mature than that.

Asking her where she envisions a relationship going is a good suggestion as well.

Thanks.

[Barton]

Speaking from experience, a relationship with a younger women(mine was eighteen, I was also thirty-eight.) can be a wonderful thing. It will certainly keep you hopping as young women are still deciding who they are and are still very much exploring the world around them. after being with women my age I found in to be a refreshing relationship. As was mentioned previously to you, younger women seem to seek out an older man for their maturity, and
stability(in other words you are a safe person to explore the world with.).
A long lasting relationship, probably not, but worthwhile, definitely.

Good luck,
Barton.

[Xaphan45]

Where do you draw the line? Here in the Bluegrass a girl of 16 has reached the age of consent The is even a movement to have it lowered to 14. It presents several interesting situations for stories

[Barton]

Where do you draw the line? Here in the Bluegrass a girl of 16 has reached the age of consent The is even a movement to have it lowered to 14. It presents several interesting situations for stories

The law is the law. But even so, at sixteen they're still not mentally an adult. Fourteen, thats utterly ridiculous. There is a big difference between a young women and a kid. Eighteen years of existence seems enough time for most people to at least get some sort of a handle on things(including ourselves.). Younger than that seems too much balanced on the side of child rather than adult. Maybe some stories should never be written!
Barton.

[magicgrl]

" I don't know if the rose smells quite as good as in one's imagination. "

Buy i hope this is not true! While i agree 19 is a little young, i was 23 when i met my Master, who was 46. That was five years, a collaring, 2,000 mile move and a wedding later! i can honestly tell you that He thinks i am His fantasy. The main trouble we had was people not taking us seriously-- i was viewed as a gold digger/trophy wife. After five years we have proved that we will last.

i will say that at 23 i was fairly mature-- i had been married once before and had two children. i doubt very much if i could say the same about myself at 19. One key thing that i think needs to happen in relationships where one partner is significantly younger than the other is to allow that person to grow and become *who* they are. Master enjoyed watching me be 23, 24 ,25...(i will be 29 on Sun!) He had fun watching me grow as a submissive and a woman. There were difficult times--when things i just *didn't* know got in the way-- like how to throw a dinner party...lol...but we got through them.

i say give it a shot. The fantasy can be a lot of fun! It will take patience on your part--but at least from our perspective, it has been a labor of love.

*~magic~*

[ProjectEuropa]

I'm probably going to offend every young woman that visits this site (I include young men of the same age to be less controversial.) Young women of 18 - 20 years of age might be mature in the eyes of the law but they are not fully mature. I have worked in several art colleges and seen young students of such an age regularly taken advantage of by the staff. I think it is unprofessional but young people at such an age are adults and they make their own choices. I have a friend who still teaches at an art college who regularly has an 18-20 year old on his arm (he's 51) and it amazes me just how gullible these young women are. He just uses them as some sort of self confirmation. Yet I can see him regularly embarrassed by them as we sit round drinking and chatting. They are young and intelligent but they are still on the whole naive. I often wonder if he is able to get a woman nearer his own age. I often ask him what he talks about with these young women and all he can say is 'things'.

I recently dated a 32 year old and came away thinking we originated on different planets. We had a lot of interests in common (art being the main one) and she liked my CD collection which to my horror she labeled 'retro'. I do have some contemporary music in there, honest! The age gap meant we grew up in different worlds with different perceptions. I'm sure there are relationships that work with such large age differences but I would imagine they are the exception rather than the rule.

And yes! When I was 18-20, I too thought I was mature. Now I realise all adults are just children but older.

[slavelucy]

We had a lot of interests in common (art being the main one) and she liked my CD collection which to my horror she labeled 'retro' .

ROFL!! God, that really made me laugh, thanks.

As for age, i find that every one, without exception, has an immature spot, whatever their age or gender....be it intellectual, emotional or anything else...i generally try and take people as they come (er, so to speak). If someone's a shallow wanker, they're a shallow wanker whether they're 18 or 118.

Your post was interesting though, in recent times i have met people who have made me realise the value of having life experience, something which i previously scoffed at. Having said that, everything has it's downside, and so does age, and to this end i think that some older people can occasionally come across as slightly apathetic or careworn....they see it as 'young people think they can change the world..bless 'em, they'll soon see' but it could equally be perceived as negative apathy.

Oh, while i'm here - i love your signature line, ProjectEuropa, Wildisms always make me grin...although, the last word of that quote should be 'do', if memory serves.

sl (ever the pedant, hopefully i'll grow out of it )

[chromedome11]

Oh, while i'm here - i love your signature line, ProjectEuropa, Wildisms always make me grin...although, the last word of that quote should be 'do', if memory serves.

Thanks, slavelucy. Now I finally get ProjectEuopa's signature.

[ProjectEuropa]

Oh, while i'm here - i love your signature line, ProjectEuropa, Wildisms always make me grin...although, the last word of that quote should be 'do', if memory serves.

I checked the quote and you are right. You can feel smug! ;-)

[magicgrl]

"QUOTE=ProjectEuropa]I'm probably going to offend every young woman that visits this site (I include young men of the same age to be less controversial.) Young women of 18 - 20 years of age might be mature in the eyes of the law but they are not fully mature. I have worked in several art colleges and seen young students of such an age regularly taken advantage of by the staff. I think it is unprofessional but young people at such an age are adults and they make their own choices. I have a friend who still teaches at an art college who regularly has an 18-20 year old on his arm (he's 51) and it amazes me just how gullible these young women are."

Perhaps the young women that this man courts are gullible-- i however, was not. Of course, i was not a semester fling-- i actually became His wife.

<snip>

"Yet I can see him regularly embarrassed by them as we sit round drinking and chatting. They are young and intelligent but they are still on the whole naive. I often wonder if he is able to get a woman nearer his own age. I often ask him what he talks about with these young women and all he can say is 'things'."

i guess if you don't have things in common that can be rough-- but i can say that my Master was never embarrassed by me in conversation with anyone. i like what He likes-- football, basketball, politics etc. We have the same values about life.

<snip> " she liked my CD collection which to my horror she labeled 'retro'. <snip>

Well, my CD collection looked almost identical to Master's when we met. In fact, i was much better at the song trivia when it came to The Stones, The Who, Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix-- you name it, i know it! (And i knew all the words)
<snip>

i guess maybe relationships like my mine working out are an exception-i won't argue with that. But the can and often DO work out.

*~magic~*

[ProjectEuropa]

Perhaps the young women that this man courts are gullible-- i however, was not. Of course, i was not a semester fling-- i actually became His wife.

I knew I would offend someone and expected a tirade of abuse but I wasn't trying to be personal. I accept any criticism squarely on the chin.