Which one are you?

[gemmy]

There is such a vastness to this life - some mild, some highly extreme

no wrong, no right, just what feels good to you only

From the extreme masochist who can't get enough when being thoroughly thrashed at the end of a suede cat 'o nine tails whip to the 'babygurl' submissive who screams blue murder at the slightest slap on her bottom by her Master

Where do you fall in the 'types' of sub / slave?

First is there a difference between a submissive and a slave? yes there is:

- a submissive submits willingly to her Dominant within a pre-set defined set of limits, limits which may very well be re-negotiated as she see's fit, she is very much the one in control of where the relationship goes and how far. a submissive thinks in terms of level of submission in all the ways they think, act and in their expectations of the out come.

- a slave submits willingly and completely to her Master, no questions, no negotiation - she has placed her full trust in Him having done all her 'homework' on Him before asking to serve Him - she has picked the One person she never wants to say no to ever and also trusts He would never put her in a position to say no to Him. a slave is 'owned' wholly and completely by her Master

There is a thought among BDSM'rs that a slave is lower than a submissive, others feel the slave is a rare entity so therefore; highly revered - i'll leave you to ponder your own thoughts on that

So...types of slaves/submissives

Some of us are a combination of a few of these - they are not all black and white definitions, just a general guideline as i've found researching around from different sources and what i've learned over time

Sex slaves / subs - A sex slave in BDSM adopts the role of a sex slave, but is not actually owned, but a sub who has agreed to perform sex only acts for different Dominant partners

Pets - the leash and collar slave/sub, generally assuming a very low profile to her Dominant, serving her Master on hands and knees, laying at his feet always or on a cushion beside his chair, very much relying on his every word and command to serve and please Him

Brat subs - these gurls like attention, be it negative or positive, they will go out of their way to draw attention to themselves through sassy acts to gain what they want from their Doms, usually punishment - Brat is not usually a term assigned to a slave as a slave would never intentionally draw her Masters annoyance, dissappointment or anger for any reason

Babygirl subs - a submissive who requires much coddling from her Dom (usually a 'Daddy Dom' type) - they like being treated as one would care and love for a young child - may be quite Diva and highly dramatic and requiring a very high maintenance

Pain slaves / subs (the masochist) - are ones who enjoy pain in their pleasure and can vary as i said earlier to the very light to the extreme edgeplayer, either way they enjoy the stimulation brought about by the physical pain brought to them at the hand of their Dom/Master

Business slave / sub - is the one you will read the least about when reading online journals. This is a person who will happily take on tasks for the dominant that are related to work. Often, the dominant owns his own business, and the slave will take care of the mundane paper work, accounting, organising or other activities that otherwise eat up the dominant's time. The slave will often be employed by the company, therefore having a salary. This by no means de-values the slave's position as submissive. It's often hard to recognise duality of the slave's life - dominance in work, submissive in nature

Domestic slave / sub - is one who takes great pride in looking after the home. She is tidy and organised, and is often a brilliant cook (whether she is a natural or had be to taught, she still enjoys it). There is nothing more satisfying for her than welcoming the dominant into his tidy, warm home after a day's work, with dinner about to be served.

Pleasure slave / sub - is the type most heard about when reading online journals. This is the type many submissives strive towards. A pleasure slave understands that her reason for being is to please the Master in all things sexual. Ideally, a pleasure slave will never be fully satisfied, so that she is always ready for sexual use or service. The slave has no say in when, where, nor who with; this is all up to the Master, who also has the responsibility to make sure the slave's safety is not compromised.

Gorean slave - the Ultimate Slave - Gorean women are called "kajira" or "sa'fora" (daughter of the chain). These women, who according to Gorean philosophy, are considered submissive by birth and nature and their mission is to please and be pleasing to the Master always. Men are otherwise Dominant and have absolute power over a woman.

There is to name but a few and i'm sure can be many more different ones which one are you or which one draws Your (Dom's / Master's) desire most?

[Xavier]

Great post, mastersgem. A valuable list.

As an aside (not making light), it almost reads like an RPG class list. "World of Worship"... now there's an idea.

[gemmy]

Great post, mastersgem. A valuable list.

As an aside (not making light), it almost reads like an RPG class list. "World of Worship"... now there's an idea.

hehehe thank you Xavier - just some things i had put together for a group i ran to help new subs and thought some here would find it interesting also and it's always fun to hear different takes on this and where people think they may fall *smiles*

[Hime]

Great post, mastersgem. A valuable list.

As an aside (not making light), it almost reads like an RPG class list. "World of Worship"... now there's an idea.

A friend of mine who was getting into BDSM for the first time actually phrased it kind of like that... "I'm not sure I'm ready for sex with character classes."

On topic, I think that I'm some of almost all of those. I mostly think of myself as a "pet," but I definitely have aspects of the babygirl, the brat and the pain slut.

[~faerie~]

Where do you fall in the 'types' of sub / slave?

First is there a difference between a submissive and a slave? yes there is:



- a slave submits willingly and completely to her Master, no questions, no negotiation - she has placed her full trust in Him having done all her 'homework' on Him before asking to serve Him - she has picked the One person she never wants to say no to ever and also trusts He would never put her in a position to say no to Him. a slave is 'owned' wholly and completely by her Master



i have been an owned slave for only around 4 months, but i have to agree with this point. i trust my Master fully. He knows better than i know myself. we are r/l even though He lives a few hours from me. He feels that a slave is the deepest level of submission a person could give to another. i agree. i am cherished and cared for by Him. there is complete honesty and trust between us. there are no secrets. He doesnt control my day to day life, but if i am falling towards failure He will intervene. i dont question His orders for i know in my heart that He has my best interests at heart. I may state my opinion in a respectful way and we discuss any issuses that are going on in our lives. He does make the final decision.There are many times that He wants me to make decisions myself. I do so with the thought in my mind that everthing i do reflects upon Him. I am very proud to be His slave.
[/I]

There is a thought among BDSM'rs that a slave is lower than a submissive, others feel the slave is a rare entity so therefore; highly revered - i'll leave you to ponder your own thoughts on that

I dont agree that a slave is lower than a submissive...
imho i think that a slave is a greater gift. you offer yourself and all you are with no limitations. That is the deepest and most precious gift you can give. My Master believes the same.

So...types of slaves/submissives

Some of us are a combination of a few of these - they are not all black and white definitions, just a general guideline as i've found researching around from different sources and what i've learned over time


Pain slaves / subs (the masochist) - are ones who enjoy pain in their pleasure and can vary as i said earlier to the very light to the extreme edgeplayer, either way they enjoy the stimulation brought about by the physical pain brought to them at the hand of their Dom/Master

Business slave / sub - is the one you will read the least about when reading online journals. This is a person who will happily take on tasks for the dominant that are related to work. Often, the dominant owns his own business, and the slave will take care of the mundane paper work, accounting, organising or other activities that otherwise eat up the dominant's time. The slave will often be employed by the company, therefore having a salary. This by no means de-values the slave's position as submissive. It's often hard to recognise duality of the slave's life - dominance in work, submissive in nature

Pleasure slave / sub - is the type most heard about when reading online journals. This is the type many submissives strive towards. A pleasure slave understands that her reason for being is to please the Master in all things sexual. Ideally, a pleasure slave will never be fully satisfied, so that she is always ready for sexual use or service. The slave has no say in when, where, nor who with; this is all up to the Master, who also has the responsibility to make sure the slave's safety is not compromised.

There is to name but a few and i'm sure can be many more different ones which one are you or which one draws Your (Dom's / Master's) desire most?

i guess i am a combination of the above.

I am here for His pleasure above all. I am always ready for Him. I love to serve Him any way i can. He loves the fact that i strive to please Him in all that i do. He enjoys the fact that He can make me cum on command. My safety is of the utmost importantance to Him. He doesnt ever share with other Masters. i am His alone

i am a masochist and that does play a major part in our relationship. He gives me what i need and in turn i give him all i am. He enjoys bringing me to the highest peaks and then watching me explode from the combination of pleasure and pain. He puts me in my slavespace.

We also have started a business together, which is a seperate entity in itself. we are equal partners in that aspect. I do do alot of the mundane work, but that is because i am good at it, and it pleases me to be able to do those things for Him so that He may concentrate on larger issues. i suppose that makes me a business slave of sorts. However i also have a lot of responsibility with creation and marketing. We accent eachother in what we do.

This is just the way our relationship works. I am sure it is different for everyone as we all have different needs.

[Dragon's muse]

i am the "Dragon's muse" type. He and i are individuals that resist strongly being placed into categories or boxes.

Labels are for packages; pigeonholes are for pigeons. We are neither.

[Warbaby1943]

i am the "Dragon's muse" type. He and i are individuals that resist strongly being placed into categories or boxes.

Labels are for packages; pigeonholes are for pigeons. We are neither.

Nicely said

[gemmy]

i absolutely agree muse, it's not meant to do that but to show the many differences there can be in this vast realm *smiles* and to maybe have some fun exploring them

i understand no one wants to be 'labelled'

[crazy_grrluk]

I am slave to Master. regardless whether he is here or not. everything I do.. i do it for him. I still have my own opinions and as Dragon's muse said we are individuals.

cg

[sisterhoney61 {RW}]

It really depends on my mood and Master's as to what I am at any given moment. Sometimes Master wants a babygirl to coddle and spoil. Sometimes I feel a little bratty and want to talk back so that I can get a spanking. Sometimes I want to be a total pain slut and flogged until I'm seeing spots. Sometimes Master wants a domestic servant to wait on Him hand and foot. Sometimes He wants a pet on a leash. Sometimes He wants a sex slave to service Him at His whim.
I am all these things and more. I reserve the right not to label myself, because I am many different people at any given time.

[delish]

I am what He needs me to be.

I also want to address something somebody else said, which was that slaves offer a greater gift than submissives- I disagree, respectfully. I do believe that true slaves are much more rare than any flavour of submissive, but putting a value on x type of submission is baffling to me. Perhaps this is a defensive response, because I am not a slave and think that the chances I'd truly learn to be one are slim to none, but I'm not comfortable saying that my gift is somehow less because it's "common".

I do agree with the sentiment expressed that it's utterly wrong to place slaves as somehow less than submissives, for the precise reason listed above- it's just not quantifiable, to me.

This was meant to be a very short reply. I suck at that.

Honestly, though, I can't say what type I am most often, even. I watch Him for cues on what He needs at the time, and hope that I've learned to interpret well enough.

[~faerie~]

[QUOTE=delish;574158]I am what He needs me to be.

I also want to address something somebody else said, which was that slaves offer a greater gift than submissives- I disagree, respectfully. I do believe that true slaves are much more rare than any flavour of submissive, but putting a value on x type of submission is baffling to me. Perhaps this is a defensive response, because I am not a slave and think that the chances I'd truly learn to be one are slim to none, but I'm not comfortable saying that my gift is somehow less because it's "common".

I do agree with the sentiment expressed that it's utterly wrong to place slaves as somehow less than submissives, for the precise reason listed above- it's just not quantifiable, to me.

QUOTE]

I apologise...i did not mean to offend anyone, it is just so often i hear that slaves are less because we have given up all rights. perhaps my defense mechanisms have kicked in as well. i do not believe i am less because i am a slave. And i dont believe that anyones gift is common. Far from that, i truly respect everyone who has given a gift of their submission, slave or not. Whatever your level of submission is between you and your Master...mine however looks at my slavery as the greatest gift that can be given. So in fact for me to say less would be disrespectful on my part.

[gemmy]

lol delish - it is a short response hehe

i honestly don't think that either sub or slave have value over each other as we all have our own individual value we bring to each relationship - all situations are different and if you're happy in your corner, who's to say what value that holds *winks*

i think it's awesome that we all put together our own unique mix of this world and that being every Master is different, a whole new blend will come from the mold he is creating with you *smiles*

thanks to everyone for the responses, it's fun learning about people and their own take on it

[gemmy]

ShyGreenEyedGrl - no apology necessary, it's the reason for these boards, to express your opinion, your experience - it's how we all learn *winks*

[icey]

im sugar and spice and all things nice...with a little bit of naughty thrown in for good measure
in other words im just me.

i dont really go for labels and dont understand the need or desire to have one i am who i am, sometimes bratty,sometimes very very good and depending on what we have planned or are doing at the time slave (like) not as in role play just by some of the routines we have in place and the way we live our lives.
im always the little girl type i need lots of attention good or bad,preferably good lol but not intentionally just naturally Icehawk tends to bring that out as he is naturally protective of me and a bit of a father figure.

one thing im certainly not is the sub who sits by her Masters feet and hangs on every word!! guess thats the spice part of me lol



tbh i cant really get my head around the 'true slave' thing to me simply because of its very definition and the way most people explain how it works and the foundations often set for their r/ships BUT thats only my opinion. and no-one should be judged or thought a lesser or lower person because they are a slave not sub...or vice versa! its never entered my head to think of it in that light, and who is anyone to determine which is the better??


i love pain and a lot of it but ive never considered myself a masochist, if i give myself a label/type it would simply be im a girl

just my 2 cents worth!!

[hunneeb36]

i, too find difficulty choosing where i stand/fall in the submissive/slave stand. Every day is a new learning experience for me and for Him. Living this lifestyle 24/7 (especially with children in the home) is a challenge that He and i face daily. i do not know where i fall on the scale, i just hope that i please Him with where i am and where i am going.

[icey]

im betting the most pleasing thing to him will be that you try and that you are you
there is no scale, officialy set roles,and rights and wrongs every r/ship is different and if people are happy then does it really matter what 'category' they fall into?

i have children too and no its not always easy it can even be a bloody nightmare at times! i know as a good parent im not supposed to say that! but im also human lol.

[gloombunny]

*obligatory protest that the difference between "slave" and "submissive" is largely overblown and it has more to do with personal aesthetics than anything else*

[gemmy]

*obligatory protest that the difference between "slave" and "submissive" is largely overblown and it has more to do with personal aesthetics than anything else*

*giggles*

[Hime]

*obligatory protest that the difference between "slave" and "submissive" is largely overblown and it has more to do with personal aesthetics than anything else*

Yeah, I agree with this post.

My husband and I prefer not to use the term "slave" because we're from the Southern US and find that the term brings up a lot of history that's more shameful than exciting to us. It has nothing to do with the depth of our relationship or our power exchange -- it just isn't the term we prefer. "Pet" suits me better, anyway.

[gemmy]

Yeah, I agree with this post.

My husband and I prefer not to use the term "slave" because we're from the Southern US and find that the term brings up a lot of history that's more shameful than exciting to us. It has nothing to do with the depth of our relationship or our power exchange -- it just isn't the term we prefer. "Pet" suits me better, anyway.

I agree on using the term in certain places Hime - one has to be very careful not to draw the wrong attention from those who don't understand and in the South would be one area, I think, to be extremely cautious

[Cool Luke's Hand]

If I had to pick one of them, I'd probably go with the "Brat", it seems like the most fitting. If we're talking a mixture, then add a pinch of "Sex slave", a dash of "Pleasure slave" and a couple of spoonfuls of "Masochist". I'm as much an individual as the rest of you, but if you actually try you can fit yourself into one of those boxes. It's not a perfect fit, never is, but it's the closest you'll get.

[Gr1m'sGirl]

I am anything He wishes for me to be, and hopefully more. I dislike labels, so I wouldn't choose any of these to describe me. I like to live outside the box. -giggles-

The only thing I would label myself as is His, and only His.

<3

[jeanne]

What the heck, I'll play. What's the harm?

I'm a combination of the categories below, different emphasis at different times, depending on what He wants.

Pets - the leash and collar slave/sub, generally assuming a very low profile to her Dominant, serving her Master on hands and knees, laying at his feet always or on a cushion beside his chair, very much relying on his every word and command to serve and please Him

Pain slaves / subs (the masochist) - are ones who enjoy pain in their pleasure and can vary as i said earlier to the very light to the extreme edgeplayer, either way they enjoy the stimulation brought about by the physical pain brought to them at the hand of their Dom/Master

Pleasure slave / sub - is the type most heard about when reading online journals. This is the type many submissives strive towards. A pleasure slave understands that her reason for being is to please the Master in all things sexual. Ideally, a pleasure slave will never be fully satisfied, so that she is always ready for sexual use or service. The slave has no say in when, where, nor who with; this is all up to the Master, who also has the responsibility to make sure the slave's safety is not compromised

One final thing, not really mentioned...service. He wants to be served. He requires my assistance to bathe and dress. And I gladly give it.

[lilchia3]

thanks a whole bunch for posting this. it is very well worded and succint and i have founf that it has clarified some things for me that i haven't been quite able to grasp. So thank you.....

[Kitten4DADDY]

Wow!! That is the first thing that comes to mind.

I didn't realize there were so many "labels" for what I am or strive to be.
I am His slave, sub, pet, baby girl, domestic, all of the above.

I live to serve him, it makes me feel complete.
I love to serve him, my place is at his feet.
I yearn to sever him, that is where my talent lies.
I need to serve him. So goodbye.

Sorry that is just what came out.

He is my first Master/husband. I never put thought into what I was as in a category. Other than I knew I was not dominant or aggressive in anyway.
When I stumbled upon my first story where the boss spanked his secretary and it made me tingle like nothing else ever had I knew I wanted to try it.
I hid that story away under my mattress and read it when ever I got a chance. It took me over 3 years to bring it up to my husband. I eventually threw that story away which I regret. But told him about it. He was raised by a VERY liberal mother, and it took him years to warm up to the idea.
Now neither of us would/could have it any other way.

I guess I am just HAPPY!

[bip0lar]

In play, i'm tit slut--that's the name master gave me. Thus, under this name, i am what i'm told i am, be that his love, his slut, his whore, his slave, his baby. However i've always been scared of labeling myself, not only on the everybody is an individual basis, but also because i find that once under the umbrella of a "title" things can get antagonistic and weird. For example i have met many wannabe Doms who, when they understood that i am a submissive, demanded i pleased them. Now i'm sorry, but if labeling myself as a sub means i have to do whatever anybody with a dominant character says, then i'd much rather refrain from calling myself that! Titles and adjectives can lead to misunderstandings. Therefore i choose to be myself unless Master has a better idea :>

[Cool Luke's Hand]

OK, we get it, you're all individuals. Can't you just indulge the topic and TRY to work out where you'd best fit? It can't just be me who's annoyed by this.

[gloombunny]

OK, we get it, you're all individuals. Can't you just indulge the topic and TRY to work out where you'd best fit? It can't just be me who's annoyed by this.

Perhaps some of us don't think trying to shoehorn ourselves into somebody's arbitrary categories is a worthwhile pursuit.

[Cool Luke's Hand]

How is it shoehorning? This is an informal survey on a message board that doesn't even require to you pick exclusively one. You are not going to be lifted from your home, attached with a tag reading "Brat" or "Masochist" and shipped off to Monaco to live out your days at the beck and call of a multi-millionaire living in tax freedom. What's the harm in it?