I was writing this in response to a kind PM I received from a friend and I decided I should probably share it all with you as well.
With my Master gone, I have been feeling very lost lately. I didn't realize how very deep my connection was to him, in a way I have never felt before until he died. I knew it was very special, and I knew my need to serve him and have him take care of me was strong, but I never expected it to be as strong and binding as it was. I don't fit anywhere anymore. I am not vanilla, my submissive soul is too deeply ingrained now for that. But yet, the idea of serving another dominant is repugnant to me. I was a one Master submissive. And then, to ever know another "Gorean lite" man who would understand me the way that Dragon did? Well, that is just not going to happen. So, if I have been quiet and MIA, that is why. It is time to find my new place in this world and I have a lot of healing to do before that happens.
I miss Dragon so much I want to scream and cry and pound my fists and writhe in agony in a ball on the floor...and I have. But Master taught me to be strong and wise and independent. He had me learn these lessons well before he said good bye. When the raw wounds have begun to heal, I will be fine and love life again. But for now if I am quiet or not around much, I am sure you can understand.
I love you, my friends. You are always here for me and I am so very grateful. Thank you all................... ***HUGS*** ~bliss~