Writing and Proofreading tips ;}
Funny in a serious sort of way.
Writing Tips
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will suffice.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Remember to never split an infinitive.
7. Contractions aren't necessary.
8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
9. One should never generalize.
10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
11. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
13. Be more or less specific.
14. Understatement is always best.
15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
17. The passive voice is to be avoided.
18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20. Who needs rhetorical questions?
21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
22. Don't never use a double negation.
23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
24. Do not put statements in the negative form.
25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
28. A writer must not shift your point of view.
29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
37. Always pick on the correct idiom.
38. The adverb always follows the verb.
39. Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.
And Now on to proofreading
1. If your a good profreader, you will spot three or fore mispelled words hear - or is it five?
2. to get better grades in english, find the three Errors in capitalization in this sentence
3. Its not easy to find the four errors with apostrophe's shown her, but thats a writers task.
4. Finding a sentence fragment is not always easy either. Especially if you're in a hurry.
5. The comma splice, which joins independent sentences, can be tricky, it's quite often overlooked, in fact.
6. A related punctuation problem is the run-on sentence it needs your close attention as a proofreader.
7. Clauses in a compound sentence are usually separated by a comma but you may sometimes forget to put it in.
8. When you write a subordinate clause at the beginning of a sentence you may also overlook the comma accidentally.
9. A different sort of problem results from, leaving in extra commas, because you don't proofread with extra care.
10. If you drop word endings, as in this sentence, you will disrupt your reader concentration.
11. Similarly, if you switch verb tenses, as shown here, you confused your readers.
12. Listening to sentences where you proofread can help you avoid errors with connecting words like when, while, etc.
13. Writers which are not proofreading may misuse relative pronouns (like who, whom, which, that, whose).
14. A simple sentence is rather difficult to read that puts its modifiers in the wrong place.
15. When you proofread, remember that each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.
