do you just know

I have a question and would appreciate some help from others. I was recently at a dinner party strictly vanilla ,dressed casually and noticed a young woman kept looking my way and dropping her eyes each time I looked at her, she was to young for me to be interested in, I went outside after dinner to get some air,she came out and walked up to Me and said You are arent you Sir, then lowered her head ,I looked at her and knew what she meant,answered yes, and she said she knew by how she felt when she saw me, has any Doms or subs had a simular experience.

Nope! And, I just wish! I would love to be able to spot others. Hmmm, maybe I should revive the old "bandana in the back pocket trick?"

No, I'm absolutely hopeless at spotting others. I was convinced that my bestest friend in the whole wide world was a domme, and it turns out she's submissive.... pfft! See how well I know my best friend? :p

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Originally Posted by sirken

she came out and walked up to Me and said You are arent you Sir, then lowered her head ,I looked at her and knew what she meant,answered yes, and she said she knew by how she felt when she saw me, has any Doms or subs had a simular experience.

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Well, that was incredibly brave, don't you think? :heart: I often get "vibes" about people but I've never been able to just ask them out right.

havent tried that, but i sometimes get hunches (susspecion?) about certain peoble ;)

Since I have been more aware of my submissiveness, it seems I do tend to notice more what people say and often wonder if there is a hidden meaning behind it. I worked with a Dr. recently who made a few remarks that left me wondering...but to have the nerve to ask...I'm not that brave! As to the way one carries oneself...nope....I'm clueless!

With me a dominant once came up to me who reconized me from one the bdsm dating sites that we were both apart of in a Beauty salon out of anywhere and asked me if I was a submissive, I was freaked out because I never spoke to him before...he took me outside to ask me, I thought there was something wrong with him...he was the first dom I spoke to real time, two years before I got into a D/s relationship and that made me wonder if he didn't see me before....would he still assume I was a submissive?

My former dominant reconized me immediately for being a submissive because of my body language...but does it happen alot that someone can know that about a person right away?

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Originally Posted by sirken

I have a question and would appreciate some help from others. I was recently at a dinner party strictly vanilla ,dressed casually and noticed a young woman kept looking my way and dropping her eyes each time I looked at her, she was to young for me to be interested in, I went outside after dinner to get some air,she came out and walked up to Me and said You are arent you Sir, then lowered her head ,I looked at her and knew what she meant,answered yes, and she said she knew by how she felt when she saw me, has any Doms or subs had a simular experience.

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Oh how awesome! How romantic! (or I have a warped mind?) That was just so nice to read, like something from a bdsm romance novel! :o

Sadly, I've never had an experience like that. And yes, it was incredibly brave and couragous of her. I wholeheartedly admire her for having the guts to do that.

[QUOTE=BabySub]Oh how awesome! How romantic! (or I have a warped mind?) That was just so nice to read, like something from a bdsm romance novel! :o

Your not the only one who finds it romantic;) I do too,lol perhaps I have a warped mind myself;)

Are you sure she was not just trying to tell you in a polite way that your fly was open :)

sirken - that story - is hot!

As for the answer - i have never been brave enough to approach person like that, than again, i have not met many Men that made me want to drop to my knees in front of them either :)

i agree – she had balls to do that, but than again – obviously she was pretty sure You ARE!

When I meet a female for the first time, I often wonder if she can tell, as I read her body movements and gestures to see if I see any indication of her submissiveness and or dominance, guess I am a little warped to think this way
thanks for the help from all who responded

I'm with you, baby sub. If you think about it, it's really hard to just approach a man as a regular woman. But a sub addressing a dom? Man. That could took guts that most could never have come up to scratch with. All I can say is that she must be an amazingly incredible woman.

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Originally Posted by BabySub

Oh how awesome! How romantic! (or I have a warped mind?) That was just so nice to read, like something from a bdsm romance novel! :o

Sadly, I've never had an experience like that. And yes, it was incredibly brave and couragous of her. I wholeheartedly admire her for having the guts to do that.

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Before Master retired, he was a nuclear medicine tech. He has an excellent "bedside manner" and is wonderful at putting various patients at ease. He often told me stories about this or that patient (regarding privacy, of course). One day he came home and told me about a woman he had run a test on. How he'd instructed her not to move, turn this way and that, etc. and she would smile and say "yes Sir." He said it was the darnedest thing, but he was sure she was a sub.

About a month later we went to our first munch with a group a bit of a drive from here. Met with the hostess and sat sort of in the middle, chatting with other folks. A woman walked in and the hostess introduced her around (they're good friends). She stopped in front of Master and just grinned ear to ear. Master started to laugh, leaned to me and said "remember that patient I told you about?"

From the other side, turns out that patient had told our hostess about her experience with Master, and told her she was sure he was a Dom. :D Funny how things work sometimes.

:D If SirKen doesn't mind, this has given me ideas for a story. It might be in a month's time, it might be in years, I have no idea... but the idea has been planted. ;)

I have had a few experiences with people approaching me.

The first was when TG and I were at a CiCi's pizza. I was wearing my collar (back when we lived in Houton, Texas and there was no fear of running into someone I knew). The manager of the place walked right up to us and said to to TG "Are you her Master?" I nearly choked but TG just nochalantly said "Yes." I almost died!

Another was when I was up here and working as a night auditor at a local hotel. My Korean boss's brother was in from out of town and staying at the hotel when he noticed my bracelet. To the outside eye, it's just a nice little bauble. But to the rest they may recognize that it is a chain mail bracelet with the BDSM symbol in the center. He recognized it, told me he knew what it was, and told me that if we were ever in his home town - where he also owned his own hotel - we could have a room for free for as long as we wanted to stay. Again I was floored, my face turned red, and her just winked and walked away. OY!

Both situations sound so humiliating within their own, if it was me in that situation I would be blushing like crazy, although it doesn't take much to get me too blush:) lol

In my real life – I have not encountered a man that gave that kind of vibe.
On the other hand, once upon a time I have been active on the personals and was looking for a partner. I made contact with few gentleman, all of who have stated to be Dominants. I agreed to meet several and one of them ended up being my Master for bit over a year. Rest of them, after they saw me, asked if I was interested in dominating them. I was not impressed :twak:

I had chatted online with a Dom for couple of weeks and we decided to have a dinner together. Not actually a blind date, we'd just meet because he made me laugh and was pretty intelligent and interesting person and vice versa.

I went to the restaurant and sat on a table, I knew he would recognize me by my clothes and general appearance I had described to him. I had absolutely no idea how he looked so I just had to wait and hope for the best.

I was early so I just looked out the window and watched people passing by, thinking if that guy was him or maybe that guy... When I finally saw him I just knew. The guy wearing blue jeans and a regular T-shirt. The dominance was on him. It was the way he moved, his eyes, everything.
We didn't actually talk about bdsm much that evening but all the time I had very strong need to please him. To submit to him.

That was a strange feeling. Never had it before. Or after for that matter.

....Is being asked weird questions by online guys the same thing?

I keep getting asked by them (a lot) if I'm a masochist.

I got asked it occasionally in other 'vanilla' forums from time to time...

but since I got here?

Geez!

I must admit it freaked me out quite a bit at first....

I just wondered if anyone out there keeps getting asked the same question over and over again....those types of questions.....NOT necessarily that they are a masochist, though. (grin)

Ive gotten asked if I was a domme several times before. Im never quite sure how to respond since a.) Im a switch and only domme (ususally) with guys and b.) a couple of the people have been under 18 who asked me this- and thats not a convo i want to have with minors!

I've spotted both submissives and dominants quite a few times... being a lesbian, I think developing 'gaydar' first helps you to pick up on things like that. I've asked other submissives whether I'm right, but I've never had the guts to ask a Domme - after reaading this, I might though! :)

I submitted a very brief profile on a Danish, vanilla chatforum... Didn't say much about me but I did attach a picture..

One evening I was there a guy asked me outright if I was a "tøs" - Danish word for sub/slut.. Hmm something like that..
Since I hadn't made even the slightest hint to this in my profile and hadn't mentioned it to anyone on this particular site I was amazed...
He said he could see it in my eyes! I've been looking at this photo several times since and frankly I can't see it :o
Maybe it just takes a Dom (which he was) to spot them...

duetta