hell is empty and all the devils are here (translation: I had porn stuck in my head!)
Ever since I went to the Crucible's February D101 event, I can't stop thinking about it and fantasizing about the next time I go. I really, **really** enjoyed the scenelet I played with Brownblueandsilver (man, his handle is looonnngg.) where I had my hands bound and he had the remote control for my vibrating bullet, but it was also frustrating because it was more of a tease than anything else.
The bullet's not enough. It's fun, and I enjoy wearing it, and the thrill of it being controlled by someone else certainly got me going, but it's just not enough to get me off.
Next time, I want to force myself to wear my vibrator (the one just a bit too big for me) so I feel the stretch all night long, and have to consciously try to walk normally so it's not so obvious what a slut I am and how much I like having a cock in me, even a fake one.
I want to be down on my knees, legs spread with my hands cuffed behind my back, and I want to try sucking a man's cock for the first time in my life. I want him to teach me how to do it, how to be a good girl and a good little cockslut and I want him to fuck my mouth and even for me to choke on it a little, just so he'd know how hard I was working for him, how hard I was trying to be good.
And then I want him to come on my face, so everyone can see.
By this point, I'd be desperate, maybe even crying a little. I'd be so turned on, you see-- so damn wet, and aching, and it just wouldn't be **enough**.
Maybe then he'd push me down onto my back and use a magic wand on my clit until I screamed and came and made a complete fucking mess of myself. Maybe he wouldn't stop then, but keep going, making me take it even when it hurts but feels so good that I can't stand it. Maybe he'd fuck me with my vibrator, or his fingers, or maybe an even larger dildo, one that would feel like it was tearing me apart.
And when he was done with me, maybe he'd get me some water and help me drink it, since my hands would still be bound behind my back, and let me rest my head against his leg while I slowly came back down.
It'll never happen, of course. I'm not really much of an exhibitionist, and I don't think this is the best way to have my first real sexual experience. But it's a good fantasy. A bit embarrassing, but I think that's part of what gets me going. Apparently I'm a bit into humiliation. Who knew? (Well, clearly me, but you know what I mean.)
