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i pose this question to Master/slaves, Doms/Domme/subs. Does the Master/Dom/Domme choose the sub/slave? or does the sub/slave choose the Master/Dom/Domme? Here is my answer, the slave or sub chooses her Master/dom/Domme but it was the other way around for me Master chose me.
I think, like in all relationships, we just find each other.
We choose each other, choose to be in a relationship together. It isn't really more one persons choice than the other...
It takes at least two to tango in any given relationship (more sometimes if your poly or swing, winks) and everyone involved makes a choice, even if that choice was to abstain from choosing or give the choice to another.
We all choose to begin and stay in our relationships, though one person might show more "initiative" than the other, if that's what you mean. I was the one to first ask my sub out on a date, so I chose him there, but then he said yes to going, so he chose me there. It has to be mutual, or else there's no relationship.
Either may choose to make the approach. Both will have to choose to take the relationship any further.