Something happened on the way to the top

Last night after a session, I was discussing with my wife how something new felt on her ass. It was too soft, but we started talking about how other things felt also. A common topic of discussion with a familiar turn from her: "Well, lets see how it feels to YOU, sir" Which has never led to anything, but last night I heard the words "OK, lets do it." I looked around for the speaker then realized I must have said those words.

My wife is a total sub.

It was a 15 minute flogging from the souls of my feet to my shoulders while I was laying flat. Lots of fast twirling, with med hard strikes to the upper back, and hard strikes to my ass and the feet. It was followed by several more short floggings and a long one before we went to bed at 6:30am.

It was great. The harder the better. I can only describe how I felt when I finally went to sleep as a "calm buzz" combined with the feeling of my body having been put thru a hard workout. She said she had mentioned to me before that my beatings of her had felt good, but my thinking that she was seroiusly twisted had clouded that.

My total sub was glowing. It had really touched something in her that she never knew was there. To be honest, her flogging was better than mine, now that I had experienced it. :(

I realized that I had closet submissive tendencies before now. I had put down my likeness for nipple pain and rough hair grabbing as just a little bedroom fetish, but enjoying a full night of flogging calls into question what team I play for. Is there a "Dom, BUT sub-curious" category?

As we fell off to sleep, we were discussing her topping in the future. She really got into the idea of trying it, but I have concerns. The first words out of her mouth were "I'll be demanding a lot of oral sex, but I'm afraid you will be taking care of yourself most of the time. That's how it works with Dommes" and "I'll be a lot stricter with you than you have been with me"

I'm frightened. Is this normal?

TJ

My girlfriend topped me for the first time about a month ago ( I popped my sub cherry :) ) and I have to say I felt very similar to how you did, kind of amazed, stunned, very vulnerable but very turned on, especially by how merciless she was with me! I discovered I'm a total pussy with any kind of pain but liked the bondage/helplessness side of it a lot more. In fact I could feel it for days and I haven't really discussed it with anyone but it has changed the way I feel about her, this closet bitch in her!

Two good things have come of this. Firstly it's something I want to do again and she definitely does, so it opens a lot of doors and secondly, it gave me the best possible insight into how to top well, I was surprised by which parts of the experience turned me on and will definitely take that on board and do things differently next time I am on top, playing with different aspects of it. I realise that I will be able to do a lot more to her and with her and that is awesome. TJ I'm not very experienced here but would have to think that being frightened is not abnormal and possibly the source from which you can draw a lot of stimulation if you know what I am saying, scary women! Let the journey continue.

I never realized how much more the bottom can take once in the right mindset.

The "I'm frightened" was kind of a joke, but not really on reflection. I know that the discipline and giving up of your power to another is at the core of making whatever fetish a better experience for the sub and the dom. It was nice to play sub, but to live sub is a completely different kettle of fish to me. Having the Mistress of the house wake up in a bad mood, not an uncommon occurrence, demanding I do the yard work in a French maid's outfit would certainly hit a hard limit with me. Yeah, the public humiliation card would crack me pretty quick. I also wouldn't want to challenge her over something she wished me to do that wasn't a severe pain issue.

The emotions that I felt during the floggings, while falling asleep, and into the next day were surprisingly strong. The calm and excitement I felt the next day rocked me the most. I had no sexual release the night before, but here I was having STRONG feelings about myself from a beating I had the day before.

During the sessions, the pain got my attention, but it felt good to experience it. Stopping was always a letdown for me. The idea that my wife was getting all hot while she was beating me was difficult to wrap my mind around. It still is.

The falling asleep right after was the best. The sleep of the sub, way peaceful.

TJ

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TaintedJohn

I never realized how much more the bottom can take once in the right mindset.

Stopping was always a letdown for me.

The falling asleep right after was the best. The sleep of the sub, way peaceful.

TJ

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TJ...welcome to our world :D

this is an excellent description of why after all the tears, the begging our Mater to stop, and the hot burning skin where we were just beaten, we still walk away smiling bigger than ever.

~sp

I thnk a better subject line for this thread should be:

What is good enough for the Gander is good for the Goose

Congrats TJ!

While I haven't had an experience like yours, nor can I give much advice (esp. since I know nothing about your D/s relationship), I wanted to mention to be mindful of the dynamic you have with her as your sub. I imagine some subs might be inclined not to be as obedient in their sub role after they are given freedom to top you so thoroughly. So I would say have fun with it, but make sure your subbie understands the rules of the game and that you expect no less submission from her when it is her turn to obey you.

I'm not my wife's Dom. We have a top/bottom relationship in the bedroom, with her more dominate outside of it.

TJ