sub as caregiver

I've run into a very different circumstance of late. After a total hip replacement, my sub became my caregiver. We've had a good 24/7 D/s relationship going for 8 or so years but this changed the playing field somewhat. Because of the loopiness caused by my pain meds she has on occasion had to tell me when to do things, remind me to do my in-house PT, take me places in the car where she told me when, etc. It has been a bit of a challenge for both of us even though it is now tapering off as are my pain meds. By no means are either one of us a switch but this did avail us both a look at the other side and needless to say it made us both a bit uncomfortable. It was not a totally terrible experience but we'll both be happy to get back to our natural roles. Just puttin' it out there for your reading enjoyment...Sir L:confused:

Hope that you'll be better soon. But else it sounds like you've got a very strong relationship, that you're able to go in and complementary each other like that and still knowing who is who.

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Originally Posted by SirLawrence

I've run into a very different circumstance of late. After a total hip replacement, my sub became my caregiver. We've had a good 24/7 D/s relationship going for 8 or so years but this changed the playing field somewhat. Because of the loopiness caused by my pain meds she has on occasion had to tell me when to do things, remind me to do my in-house PT, take me places in the car where she told me when, etc. It has been a bit of a challenge for both of us even though it is now tapering off as are my pain meds. By no means are either one of us a switch but this did avail us both a look at the other side and needless to say it made us both a bit uncomfortable. It was not a totally terrible experience but we'll both be happy to get back to our natural roles. Just puttin' it out there for your reading enjoyment...Sir L:confused:

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I think my Master and I can completely relate to this. He has Multiple Sclerosis and Epilepsy. The MS has caused a fair amount of nerve damage and he is very badly affected by it in extreme temps or when he is fatigued. The epilepsy is very poorly controlled and he has frequent seizures (sometimes 5+ in a given week).

There are times with MS related issues where I will have to really get verbally forcefull about telling him not to do certain things that he feels he physically should be up to, but realistically isn't. And when those times occur I will not back down from the fight because I know in my heart that I am taking care of him and being a good slave by arguing with him about it. Usually, he realizes that I am correct and eventually will avoid the activity that would harm him. In the end I can't stop him, but I can sure try like hell!

Regarding the epilepsy- about 3 minutes before a seizure he will begin to lose his ability to understand that he is about to seize. Even though everyone in the room can tell; he can't. He often becomes very silly and laughs when I try to tell him he is about to "go" and refuses to lie down on his side like he needs to for safety. At those times, I have to get very stern and demand that he do it, and if all else fails attempt (not always successful) to wrestle him into a safe place and position. Again, as above... I would not be a good slave by letting him get hurt or worse yet, even die because I don't want to tell him what to do.

Some of the medications that he used to be on for these conditions would very severely affect his thinking on occasion and like in your situation with pain meds, he could be of serious danger to himself and others if I let him go off and do something that he would normally never do... that most people would never do. Thankfully, it's been nearly a year since those meds were stopped!

Unfortunately, the lack of meds does make the epilepsy worse, so I have to help with that more frequently than I used to. It's still a far better trade off though. In conclusion, I guess I never really struggled with feeling unsubbly or unslavish because of these issues, but he used to. Now though, he agrees with me that I am not in any way being dominant or him submissive by me caring for his health above all else.

Lawrence, it seems to me that your submissive is doing exactly what she should do for you, her Dominant. She is caring for you, catering to your needs, and devoting herself to you. What a fortunate Dom you are.

My Husband and I were in the same situation a few years ago. He was the only survivor in a really bad car crash, and His neck was injured. They had to put a steel plate in His neck and some screws in His arm.

I still cant think of Him lying in that hospital bed, without getting upset.

In a way its worse today than it was at the time - at the time I couldn't allow myself to fall apart because I knew He needed me and there was a child that needed looking after, but today, occasionally, if for some reason my thoughts wander that way, I have been known to start shaking, crying and quite literally clinging to Him for an extended periods of time (sometimes even hours).

When He began His recovery I worried how his male ego was going to take it, if it was bruised (and it probably was), thankfully, His pride prevented Him from showing it. The first two months post surgery were quite bad, by nature He is not an idle person, so it was quite hard for Him to understand that He has to be bed ridden. And the rest of that year wasn't exactly quite peachy either, but the wonderful, stubborn person He is, He preserved. He simply didn't have the choice - He had to rise above for His son and for me.

Obviously, during that year of recovery what we could do physically was curbed and maybe it seemed on the outside that there was a D/s power shift in our relationship, but there wasn't.

Him being Dominant and me being submissive is as constant to who we are as is the color of our skin or being male or female.

It didn't change how I viewed Him, it in no way diminished my respect and love for Him - but I was fearful if that will come across to Him, thankfully, it did.

Of course, we both breathed a sigh of relief when things went back to normal, but lets be clear on something, His ability to put me into chains and whip the hell out of my butt, is not what binds me to Him - the look in His eyes does; the look of love and the look of power. His ability to breath is also helpful, woe be Him if He dares to die on me, :madfire:.

I am glad you are well and wish you speedy recovery, :).

Well now i guess it is my turn to weigh in on this topic. i do what i do for Him because i love Him. It is as simple as that, i do know in my head and heart He is still my Master. i also know i need to stay on top of things to make sure His recovery is as smooth and stress free as i can make it so He can focus on getting His strength back (which is happening quickly, 2 weeks out of surgery and He only uses a cane to aid His walking!). Each time i have had to exert myself it feels strange, but it is always done with respect, firmness and love and as each day passes it has to be done less. If possible i now have more respect and appreciation for His role in our lives, knowing about the time and thought that goes into the control and living it are two different things!

leenie you are amazing!

I know when my Master is sick or needing to take his medication... oh good grief, I may as well nail a board to my head, it would be easier. But, I won't let up. He cares for me and makes sure I'm well. I do the same for him because I love him. My point to get him to shut up... "Who the hell is gonna take care of me while your busy being sick? Hmmm?"

Well that used to work, now it'll probably just get me spanked. *grins*

Good for you both, and I'm glad to know you are both getting better.

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Originally Posted by AdrianaAurora

His ability to breath is also helpful, woe be Him if He dares to die on me, :madfire:.

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TeeHee... this is why I love your posts! But I totally understand how you feel... if He died, I'd kill Him!

I think you both did realy well and I hope you get back to your old self soon!

SubmissiveDoll... that is a great analogy! Man my brains are gonna spill from all those nails!! LOL!

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Leenie. Thanks for your great post. In those words, you just said just how a relationship should be. Lots of love, care understanding and thrust. Even though it's hard and difficult for ypu, you rise to the occasion. Lucky Sir Lawrence.

In the matter of fact that goes for all the "subies" telling their stories here.

SubmissiveDoll. If he die before you. Not only will you kill him. I'm also sure that you'll get so upset that you'll never talk to him again. :-)
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