I received a comment a while back, that calling my pet a slave was demeaning to someone that had fought hard to achieve the elusive dynamic of being a slave in an M/s relationship, due to the fact that myself and cb had only been in a committed M/s relationship since Feb. This totally discounted the fact that we had spent a good part of two years exploring, experimenting and finding exactly what we both wanted out of the lifestyle, and had been in a solid (vanilla) relationship for 19 years prior to me actually collaring her.
I only mention the above as it is something that I actually let bother me when I should have shrugged it off. And is a handy example of how people often judge others in this broad lifestyle, because it isn’t how they do things, or it is because they had to struggle at achieving something that may have come to someone else a lot easier.
The point is, it got me to thinking on how many different ways that we can live within the broad bounds of what is termed The Lifestyle, and the fact of that matter that is IT IS NOT IMPORTANT what anyone else thinks. It is what works and makes the individuals in a relationship happy.
We all have our own outlooks on life, find things that we enjoy, ways of doing them. There is no hard and fast rule on how long it takes to achieve something, go about something, live a certain way. It is what works for you and your significant other/s.
Now after having said that, I do believe there are basic essentials that are necessary in any relationship to make it work.
Open and honest communication.
Trust.
Love.
Honesty.
Caring.
Respect
Those are just the foundations in my POV for a good relationship no matter the flavour, and it is what works for us.
This lifestyle has so many variants in taste and personal choice in the way we live it that besides consent. There are no hard and fast rules, or right way of living it.
My own outlook evolves from what is termed Old School, and it’s, etiquette, protocols. My younger sister and her Master on the other hand are more along the lines of the Gorean way of life, though they have moved away from mainstream Gor.
All this means is, that we have a lot to talk about when in company as in comparing different ways of approaching things, or doing things. Which to my way of thinking is quite interesting, and educational. There is no “ You have to do it this way” It is more like. “We have tried this and found it to work well”
The same applies with other friends, most of whom happen to share similar views to mine on how we choose to live, and the manners that go with it.
Discussion is quite often along a similar theme to this forum. I may want to know how to achieve a goal with my pet, and lack the knowledge to do so. I ask the folks who’s experience and judgement I trust, get their advice, weigh it up in relation to how I feel that it will work with my pet, then use it in a way that will gain the result I want.
Or, it may just be a simple comparing notes on how we find different things work in different ways on different people.
The long and the short of it being. There is no judgement, only shared experiences, and what happens to work, or what has worked well in the past.
The information and experience is out there, you choose how you want to use it, and live the way that is going to make you both/ three/ four.. happy.
Ramble over,
Paul
