Trust

[shayna{L_D}]

Trust is hard regardless of its on the internet or not with that being said, here I go.

When I was 13 or 14, right around when the internet became semi popular, in fact this was right around when chat rooms actually got names instead of numbers (on aol that is.) if you can believe that. I went into a chat room, I wont say what it was about because, well that’s a secret. (hey I gotta have some!) I met so many people my age, that were into the same things I was, they were nice, friendly, open and I thought them to be honest. I was there for a year, a staple in that chat room. Until I started noticing inconsistencies in what people were saying about there real life verses there online life. I found out some heart breaking things, and some things that totally disgusted me. I, in the end left the internet all together. I left for two years.

I swore to myself to never go into a chat room ever again, never be open and or honest with people again. Fast forward to February of this year, and I was on the library, in the chat room, being a staple there also. I thought ‘oh maybe times have changed’, boy was I wrong. I am not going to name drop or throw anyone under the bus. I know there are a lot of people, not just on the library that lie about small things. Age, height, weight, location, not a big deal right? No, its not I can understand people wanting to hide those things from creeps. But when it comes to really getting to know someone and trusting them with secrets and personal problems you are having, that becomes tough. Such as being married in real life and having a sub online, the sub online being completely unaware that the other person is married. Or even worse that the other person may be the opposite sex. Ive heard so many horror stories of people finding out facts like that the hard way, some of my closet friends had to go through that and I just hoped agaisint hope that I wasn’t being burned the same way. But how can you tell, that the person you are trusting isn’t lying to you about something very important? Fact is, you cant.


I just recently went through getting burned but I continually put my hand in the fire, thinking that this person was changed, or other people were just wrong. I put my blinders on from the beginning and that’s my fault. You cant change people, they are who they are and they wont change unless they want to. At times, we allow people the fire to burn us with. Other times we give them the water to put us out. But i learned in the end when you get burned dont let the arsonist be the one to relight you. stop (think about it), drop( (leave situation), and roll (move on).


To answer your questions I have been burned, three good times. The first was enough to make me leave the net all together, the others were just learning experiences. I barely open myself up to someone online unless I think they are well worth it, as you know. Do the good outnumber the bad? Yes I have to say they do. I have met some awesome people, online (turning into offline friendships) from this very library. Ive also learned a lot of other people getting burned, and learned a lot in general. Does getting burned make me scared to come to the library? At times, I feel why am I opening myself up to get hurt, that just means you have to be more careful of who you open up to. There are some people out there worth while, Seri.


I am sorry this happened to you, and you got hurt, and were that upset. Sometimes in life you have to say ‘okay I got hurt, let me look at the positive’ if there is no positive then you have to just pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and or pride and move on. Easier said then done, I understand.


Finally, I have no problem with being honest about ANYTHING when it comes to my life, and how I live it. I hide nothing from myself nor from other people. I am me, no need to hide who I am. A lot of people have met me in real life from here and know that how I am online is how I am in real life, take it or leave it.