In any subculture there will always be friction and those who are not necessarily acting in the best interests of individuals or the group as a whole. Equally, there will always be perfectly innocent personality clashes which occur simply because two people do not get on for whatever reason.

This is mainly because those in a subculture often have little in common with each other over then the involvement in the subculture. I bet if you were to poll this site or any BDSM club you will find a range of social classes, professions, education level, cultures and religions. The one (and sometimes two or three) similarities, the interest in the culture, are what bring us together but it is sometimes the hundreds of (often quite small, sometimes quite large) differences that drive us apart.

And it is not just differences outside the scene. Often it is disagreements within it - over protocol, tradition, techniques, safety etc - that can lead to massive rifts.

The internet does not help with this. Adding emotional tone to written posts is next to impossible. This is why we have smilies and other emoticons. They are far from perfect but they are the best we have until someone invents a better way to do it.

Personally, I think a bit of debate and controversy is a good thing as it keeps the scene alive - keeps the members on thier toes and questioning protocol and tradition and therefore keeps everything fresh. Unfortunately, some people take it too far...

As for trusting those on the other side of the screen... its best not to until you are absolutely certain you can.