Here is a good start... there is also informed consent, mydungeonspace and a few other sites. Stick a post on any of these looking for people in your area and I am sure at least one person will answer you.

If there is no longer a local munch that you can go to, start one. You only really need an understanding venue. And in fact the venue does not even need to know that you are kinky - just make sure everyone is aware of the 'vanilla dress only' and the 'don't scare the normals' rules. Any bar or restaurant will do so long as it is safe and relatively accessible to all.