Quote Originally Posted by Silke
Hmm, I really don't understand why tempers rose sky high with this. Just speaking for myself here ...but as long as there's no personal insult I can live happily with someone giving his take on things, be it absolute or not. After all it's my choice to accept this opinion, sit back an laugh about it in private and put an alternative approach up for discussion. Someone else's views are just that, however narrow minded I might find them...why not smile and be happy that you found something that works for yourself?

The only time I get defensive is when I find myself in a tight spot. Again, this is ME, ok? Just making twice sure I'll get this point across...

Oh, and btw...I *love* your online relationship with fantassy and sit back in awe as to the results the two of you are getting. Not dreaming of wanting to diminish that. Especially you so generously share your experiences.

Silke
First to Silke...Very well said! I always enjoy reading your thoughts on any topic you post on and this one I especially enjoyed and heartily agreed with. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your positive contributions here!

As far as the thread, I can definitely understand why this topic raises passionate opinions on both sides of the issue. Having at this point, only experienced the lifestyle in the online realm, I have at times felt that R/t lifestylers have looked down their noses at my experiences and minimized the value of those experiences in comparison to their own. Someone once even remarked that she didn't believe I was sincere in my desire to practice BDSM or I'd immediately find a local public group and get involved R/t. Certainly that remark as well as the other perceived put downs felt a bit hurtful. But as has already been eloquently pointed out here, one can't allow hurt feelings to give rise to a loss of control and a surrender to flaming responses, otherwise the free and positive exchange of ideas in a forum such as this is impaired. I find value in pretty much every opinion of another person, even when the opinion may differ markedly from my own. There is always value in seeing a thing from a different perspective, even if you remain unpersuaded to change your own view of it. Actually, one of the things I value most about what I have learned of this lifestyle thus far, is the fact that those involved in it, generally seem more tolerant of others than I have experienced from people in general. Perhaps because we all have different kinks but we can in most cases, respect the kinks of others even though we might not share their enthusiasm for a particular activity. This broadening of perspective I learned from the lifestyle, has served to help me become more tolerant in general and I value that a great deal.

I do hope that in the near future I will have the opportunity to experience BDSM R/t, but until then I will continue to enjoy, value, and learn from, the online experiences that I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to participate in.

novus