Velvet_nectarine, I have a good ol' fashion "boyfriend," too. He gets the job done, by any name. :-D

Almost any guy could out-muscle me, and I have met plenty of guys who wanted to push me around. Some even claimed to want to dominate me, but half an ounce of feminine charm, and they were mine. I think it's natural for a person (I can really only speak of women, but it might be gender-neutral) to try to gain the upper hand in a relationship, and a good Dom needs to resist that.

I admire guys who are in touch with their natural dominance (or submission) (I think a lot of people are either dominant or submissive but they don't realize it, and they just end up being manipulative)....

Anyway, my current BF and I have a great balance, whether we're in a scene or not. He can totally turn me to pudding with the right look--I can be doing anything, and all he has to do is look at me and say, "Suck my dick," and I do it without a contrary thought. Interestingly, I can do the exact same thing to him.

Maybe that's not D/s, it's just love. :-)

All that said, I really enjoy the physical dimension of BDSM. Whether he's holding me down or otherwise exerting natural strength, or has me tied up under a dripping candle, it's an intense expression of the psychological dynamics.