Thanks for the thoughtful reply. That does seem to be a common complaint of submissive women. Their guys can beat the shit out of them, but can't keep up in the brain department. I don't know how many times I've heard submissive women say that they ended up controlling the scene through subtle -and sometimes not-so-subtle- means. Why is that do you think? Are men just less intelligent than women? Or maybe we're afraid of hurting the woman so we are hesitant and wait for her lead? It's definately a gender thing because I have never heard of female dominants having this problem. Their guys never know what's coming and they love it. So what is it? Anybody know?