I think it boils down to respect. The things my partner requires from me are honest communication and trust. The rest is all secondary- it's all part of the rituals he and I have created from our understanding of the lifestyle, meshed with our tastes and desires. That's the great thing about BDSM as a whole- there's not just One True Way, and anyone who tries to preach that shit to you doesn't know what they're talking about.

Ultimately, you and your partner are the only ones who can truly decide what improvements you can and should make. By most standards, I'm a pretty poor example of a sub, I think. My Dom is ideal for me, because he is willing to take into account all aspects of who I am, and build around that. You have to know yourself in order to know what you are looking for as a sub. Then you have to know your partner. It all sort of falls into place when it's right.

As always, my standard disclaimer: I'm in no way an expert. This is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth.

Oh, off-topic, oneslave4me, I adore your signature quote. PN is so breathtaking.