That's not what I meant when I recommended him to read more. I didn't encourage him to read more about playing techniques (I could have given him plenty of examples myself) but rather about the very basis of BDSM in order to decide what he really wants. Right now, he doesn't seem like he does.

He pathetically said: "but I want to have some stuff to do whenever I want." I see that as being highly incompatible and conflictual with the fact that he'll be looking for a master. Don't you? Embarking on the track of "to do whenever I want" is quite un-BDSM-ish for a sumbissive. Does anyone need explanations?

Playing with yourself "whenever you want" won't prepare you in any valid and useful way for a future master. Either look for such techniques and forget the future plans for finding a master, or find a master and don't do that.... Or do it, but don't lure yourself into thinking that this actually prepares you for serving. An eminently important part of BDSM is decision. Decision is hold by the master which must have enough sensibility to feel the slave willingness to play, but the explicit decision belongs (at least in theory) entirely to the master. If you get used of deciding youself "whenever you want" where do you think it'll take you? Do you really see that as some kind of preparation?

If you can't find a "proper" master (as you said) yet, find yourself a play partner. There are tons of so-called masters out there who are looking for one hour or so of play. A lot of crap into that crowd, I agree. Nonetheless, it's perhaps the best way to start. There isn't any strong psychological bond b/w master and slave, hence that doesn't make them proper masters. However, b/w hurting yourself and finding an intelligent one-night playing partner with whom you can clearly establish limits and rythm, go for the latter. At least chances are that this will prepare you for the proper master you're looking for.

(Be gentle about my not-so-perfect English)