Quote Originally Posted by sugeneg
When do you ask an online submissive personal details such as their address. My girl is not a secretive person, and has told me some very personal things already, but she does not even give out her real name over the net (usually) and I was wondering if you can get a sense of when to ask for her address, or if you should simply state you have something for her and when she feels comfortable to send her address.
The short answer is when you both trust enough to be able to do it. I think I have never jumped from on-line only to sending something in the mail. I have always progressed from on-line (chat or IM) to email to phone and then mail address. One way she can protect her privacy if she wishes is to rent a post box at either the post office or one of those places that rents boxes. My friend in Australia did that so I could send her something from time to time. She was mostly worried about somebody other than her getting the post (mail here in the U.S.), so the rental box worked fine. This may work for your sub, especially if she doesn’t live alone. The best thing to do is to tell her you wish to send her something that will further your relationship with her. Ask her what name and address she would like this sent to. I know people that have things sent to a work address too.


Quote Originally Posted by sugeneg
The other night I had my sub explore her breasts a little. She really has had no contact with them, which does sound funny I know, but she has had almost no sexual experience and even had trouble describing her nipples and breasts to me. She just hadn't thought of them much, they are just there, but she was extremely responsive and quite excited that she had discovered something new and intimate about her body. It was a particularly gratifying experience for me as I feel a slave must know her own body before she can use it to satisfy others. She then admitted to me that she had played with them in the bath to feel that sensation again and I gently admonished her, as I had told her at the last session to stop playing and that there would be plenty of other opportunities to play when I initiated it. She said that she had misunderstood and had thought I meant stop just that time not that she wasn't allowed to play with them. I reassured her that it was ok but no more playing without permission, after all I believe it was really my fault for not being clearer in the first instance. But she was quite upset that she had disobeyed me which is why I feel that punishment may be a rare occasion with this little sub.
I think you handled this right. Given her inexperienced, you want to thread the fine line between encouraging her to discover and try new things, and to allow you to control the discovery and trying of new things. You may wish to go from light breast play for her pleasure to some nipple pulling, twisting and light clips. My sub’s nipples are very sensitive so I mainly have her pull and twist them when she is also masturbating (by vaginal fingering or clitoral stimulation). I make sure she gets harder and rougher with her nipple play as she gets closer to coming. I like her to experience the balance between intense pleasure and pain. Good exercise to let her experience how the two are really just the same very intense emotional response. Good clips are those plastic clips used to close a package of chips. A pic of that is here (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...=&threadid=252), post #14.
Also, some clothespins are good, if loosened up a bit. I would avoid those black heavy paper clamps, until she can handle some intense pressure. Also, in time you can send her a pair of screw-clamps or the Japanese ones.

Question for you: What kind of activities do you think work good for the sub to do when she is off-line? We don’t always talk every day and she has a lot of responsibilities in her home and professional life. I am looking for something that she can do that will keep her focused on ME for at least part of the day.



SirW