I'm afraid we are going to have to agree to disagree. We aren't talking about consentual spanking between partners here, we are talking about physically hurting a child who is supposed to look to you for love and support and safety. If you lose control and hit them, once or twice, you teach them that you are human and made a mistake and that your emotions got away from you. If you hit them when calm cool and collected, you teach them that you are going to hurt them when you like. I can't believe that that is what you really mean to instill in your children.