mental domination

so, my hubby and I are new to this, still, and we have been exploring lots. I want to start exploring the mental aspect of being dommed. I want him to mentally dom me. He's not very chatty when we are playing, but I want him to try. I'm not sure where we should start. Sometimes I like it if he calls me slut etc, but I want something more. What are you experiences with this? Have you used a good mindfuck or been mindfucked really well? I don't know if I have explained myself very well, but I hope you get the picture. TIA!

from what it sounds like to me, you are asking for 2 different areas. You want him to verbally humiliate or degrade you, and you are interested in a mindfuck.
My advice on the former would be starting off slow, saying those sort of things out loud can be a tough taboo for a lot of people to get over (thats why we're all typing this right? ;) haha ) but it does get easier, especially if you have a positive reaction.
The latter, well, mindfucks can be dangerous. The Dom needs to know what he is doing, and exactly how far it will go. He also needs to know if you have anything in your past that he could bring up, and how to safely bring you back to 'reality'. I know there are a few personal accounts of mindfucks in either 'Different Loving' or 'The Loving Dominant', but I couldn't find them just now. There was one story about a Dom who tied his submissive to the train tracks blindfolded, so as a train passed on the tracks next to her, she thought she was on the only set of tracks. It was a great nonfiction account.

If you want verbal humiliation and he's not very 'chatty', why not use the phone ?

He can then instruct you on what you should do, how you should touch yourself, what you may or may not do.
He will be able to deny your orgasms, verbally abuse you, make you perform various acts.

If you have a mobile with a hands-free, he can phone you at anytime he chooses. Imagine walking round the
supermarket with him verbally abusing you in your headset, explaining exactly what he will do to you. You
wont be able to reply in public, so would be forced to just listen. Probably be very frustrating.

If nothing else, it might get him to be more 'chatty' when your together..

As was said previously, 'Mindfucks' are a different kettle of fish and not something we've tried, yet.

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Originally Posted by Adamoverjules

There was one story about a Dom who tied his submissive to the train tracks blindfolded, so as a train passed on the tracks next to her, she thought she was on the only set of tracks. It was a great nonfiction account.

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That one appeared in Jay Wiseman's book SM 101 in the chapter on mindfucking.

Mental domination is a powerful thing. It took us years before we were able do a scene that was 100% mental only. I think that's because it relies on both the dom being creative and able to put him/herself completely into another persona and the sub being able to get into the right, totally receptive frame of mind.

From our experience, the giving and taking of orders was the path to mental domination. The difference between submissively sitting there and letting someone handcuff you and having someone pass you handcuffs and order you to put them on is substantial. You submit twice as much when you do it willingly to yourself.

One of the most incredible experiences I've had was lying on my back and being ordered not to move. I'm not 100% sure how she managed to get me into that space, but there was no physical bondage, and no real physical punishment--save for the odd twisted nipple and slap on the cheek. It was all about the orders, and the following orders. It lasted about an hour I think...and I orgasmed--but didn't come. I didn't think that was possible without some physical contact (and I was forbidden from removing my hands from my sides, if that's what you're thinking) but it was one of the most incredible climaxes in my life.

I'm not sure if I can give advice on how to "get into" mental domination--but maybe a description of my own experience will help.

Csr:

I'm no expert, but I experienced the same thing you described:

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It lasted about an hour I think...and I orgasmed--but didn't come. I didn't think that was possible without some physical contact (and I was forbidden from removing my hands from my sides, if that's what you're thinking) but it was one of the most incredible climaxes in my life.

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Perhaps the Strings essay on Short Takes will add yet another tidbit for digestion to the topic of mental domination and it's subtleties:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...8036#post48036

Nikita

Music in background "Under His Thumb" by the Stones;)

If he isn't chatty -- perhaps you are? Maybe you could be made to say things, describe them in detail, use certain phases in public while being forbidden others?

Ever tried interrogation scene? (If you do - set the rules first).

And - simple bondage, perhaps under clothes. Directed change of clothing? Great humiliation device.

I know I am being redundant - but do be careful with mindfucks.
It can be exiling - but also destructive.

Also - it has to be personal ...

Pej.

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Originally Posted by nikita

Csr:

I'm no expert, but I experienced the same thing you described:



Perhaps the Strings essay on Short Takes will add yet another tidbit for digestion to the topic of mental domination and it's subtleties:

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...8036#post48036

Nikita

Music in background "Under His Thumb" by the Stones;)

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Just read it... very nice--and completely 'laced' with mental domination. (sorry--I absolutely couldn't resist that!)

Csr:

A literary critic...I love that comment,

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Originally Posted by Csr:Just read it... very nice--and completely 'laced' with mental domination. (sorry--I absolutely couldn't resist that!)

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Csr:From our experience, the giving and taking of orders was the path to mental domination. The difference between submissively sitting there and letting someone handcuff you and having someone pass you handcuffs and order you to put them on is substantial. You submit twice as much when you do it willingly to yourself.

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Been there:D ...This was the second task, the squeeze was on :eek:

The Natasha Task Part 1

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...asha#post47403

The Natasha Task Part 2

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...asha#post47409



Nikita