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Hi, I am am male and am going ot find myself a proper master in the future in the mean time I was wandering if their is any humiluations or bdsm punishments/activities I could do myself to prepare myself for having a master. I don't have much bdsm expierience. I know about the dungeon slave tasks but I want to have some stuff to do whenever I want.
If you want to have some stuff to do whenever you want, are you sure you'll be looking for a master? Get your ideas together kid. By what I read from you I gather you're really undecided. Read more.
Hi hurt me,
i'd probably largely agree with what Master514 says, you should have a good look around (both here and elsewhere) and do plenty of reading, you'll pick up lots of ideas on things that interest you.
Also, you mention that the subbie task project in the dungeon doesn't interest you because you 'want to do stuff whenever you want'...i don't mean this sarcastically, but you mention that you want activities that will prepare you for having a Master, which doesn't really involve doing stuff 'when you want'! :p i do know what you mean in terms of being able to practice things on a pratical level, but you may find that not only will you literally pick up pratical ideas over on ST, but you will also gain some experience in being directed to do things when someone else chooses etc.
sl
hurt me, being a newbie myself, i have been learning new things everyday that i have found to be both entertaining and many activities that i do not care for. But if you are truly wanting to learn the ropes(sorta speak) then you are going to have to learn discipline, and one of the finer points of discipline is you cannot and i quote you "I want to have some stuff to do whenever I want" do whatever you want whenever you want, you will need to learn structure and obedience! Your Master/Mistress will not want to tolerate one that is impulsive and a willful brat. I have learned so much here i always await the never ending knowledge of the Dom/MMe's and from the other submissive's so i will know how to behave like the proper submissive i yearn to become. I invite you to the task forum, there you will learn much about your self, and have to learn yes discipline about not, doing whatever you want.Quote:
Originally Posted by hurt me
I guess i am only re-iterating what Master514, and slavelucy has already said. You cannot possibly learn everything all at once. I commend you if you already know what you like and dislike, but keep in mind to never close all your doors at once.
That's not what I meant when I recommended him to read more. I didn't encourage him to read more about playing techniques (I could have given him plenty of examples myself) but rather about the very basis of BDSM in order to decide what he really wants. Right now, he doesn't seem like he does.
He pathetically said: "but I want to have some stuff to do whenever I want." I see that as being highly incompatible and conflictual with the fact that he'll be looking for a master. Don't you? Embarking on the track of "to do whenever I want" is quite un-BDSM-ish for a sumbissive. Does anyone need explanations?
Playing with yourself "whenever you want" won't prepare you in any valid and useful way for a future master. Either look for such techniques and forget the future plans for finding a master, or find a master and don't do that.... Or do it, but don't lure yourself into thinking that this actually prepares you for serving. An eminently important part of BDSM is decision. Decision is hold by the master which must have enough sensibility to feel the slave willingness to play, but the explicit decision belongs (at least in theory) entirely to the master. If you get used of deciding youself "whenever you want" where do you think it'll take you? Do you really see that as some kind of preparation?
If you can't find a "proper" master (as you said) yet, find yourself a play partner. There are tons of so-called masters out there who are looking for one hour or so of play. A lot of crap into that crowd, I agree. Nonetheless, it's perhaps the best way to start. There isn't any strong psychological bond b/w master and slave, hence that doesn't make them proper masters. However, b/w hurting yourself and finding an intelligent one-night playing partner with whom you can clearly establish limits and rythm, go for the latter. At least chances are that this will prepare you for the proper master you're looking for.
(Be gentle about my not-so-perfect English)
Master5414, i have to say i think some of your message comes across a little harshly, perhaps it's a language thing, but i for one would appreciate it if you could refrain from using phrases like 'pathetically' in reference to someone's post, it's offensive and rude.
Now, in terms of your post...
Don't take this the wrong way, but your advice isn't the only advice in the whole BDSM world you know! You didn't advise playing techniques (and nor did i, not exclusively anyway), so what? i agree that hurt me (the person who you refer to as 'he') would benefit from plenty of reading.Quote:
Originally Posted by Master514
Um..who on earth are you talking to?!?! (asking your questions of). Both myself and wannabeXopsed already raised the issue of 'doing tasks whenever one wants', it isn't new information and no one's disagreeing with you.Quote:
He pathetically said: "but I want to have some stuff to do whenever I want." I see that as being highly incompatible and conflictual with the fact that he'll be looking for a master. Don't you? Embarking on the track of "to do whenever I want" is quite un-BDSM-ish for a sumbissive. Does anyone need explanations
sl
hurt me,
I agree with much of what's been posted here, but wanted to add a few more suggestions. Master514 is right about the reading. Find some good non-fiction (there's lots of it out there if you're persistent about looking for it) and really consider what you learn compared to what you may want at this point. Also, the knowledge base in these forums has useful info too so look around.
Concerning Submissive Tasks, you should be willing to attempt tasks if you sign up but there's a huge variety to choose from and the Doms are very understanding about scheduling concerns. It might be a good middle ground for you to explore as it's somewhere in between doing what you want when you want and being in a D/s relationship in which obedience on the part of the sub is an essential element.
eb
p.s.--Thanks, sl, for addressing the respect issue above. I completely agree that terms like "pathetic" have no place in discussions with equals trying to learn/help. :)
Just to play devil's advocate... :[
Maybe when he said...
...it's because he doesn't get online much or have computer/internet access whenever he wants it. I havent been to the dungeon, but from all I've gathered, not having net access very often could be a real problem. He could be looking for things he can impliment without having to check back with an online keeper.Quote:
Originally Posted by hurt me
Just another drop of possibility in an endless stream.
There are different levels of submission, and what may be good for Master514 may not be right for you. Are you looking for a 24/7 realtionship, where you will be completely submissive and available for your Master, or are you considering something more...'part time', for lack of a better word? There are a lot of part-timers out there, and despite how Master514 made it sound, there is nothing wrong with them. They are just as capable of forming a long-lasting relationship only including B&D play part of the time. For many reasons, many people (even though they have submissive urges) might find a 24/7 relationship difficult to maintain, or even more than a once a week thing. I am a submissive, married to a vanilla man, with two very young children. My husband and I are currently looking for a Domme to whom I can submit...but for obvious reasons a 24/7 wouldn't work, so we're looking for someone in our area who will take me on part-time. Very part time, maybe once or twice a month, because of Hubby's work schedule and the fact that I can't drive. Until I do find that perfect Domme, I do 'play' with myself in the bathroom using various things; I spank myself, crop myself, tie myself up, give myself ice-cold 2-qt enemas just to feel the cramping and pain, and I have a variety of toys to use in various orifices. They enable me to live out my submissive fantasies whenever it's convenient for me.
I understand about convenience and outside pressures, as certain people seem not to. And don't worry; just because you can't commit full-time for any reason doesn't mean you're not less serious about the depth of your submissiveness. Read some of the threads here, read some non-fiction stuff about self bondage or self-torture visit your local adult shop, and just...do what feels good to you. Just be careful!
(this from the girl who lost her vaginal dildo up her ass and ran up a $4,000 hospital bill before it came back out!! :o )
Yes that and me being busy at the moment. Someone understands :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mythicat
Thanks youve been very helpfull. Ill do some of that. Nice hospitla bill, I don't think Ill be spending that much on hospital bills ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jaeangel
I hope you don't spend that much either. I didn't think I would...and then that happened. You never know, stuff just happens like that.
$4000 hospital bill? Now THATS pain!